cry of silence

Filled with sorrow...
Bleak inner self touched by pride,
devoured by solitude, still wrapped in time.
I'm flowing with pain!

Holding myself back in suspicion...
and lingering in the dust...
the dust of my abandoned remains.
Killed with the dagger of life...!

Such an exquisite pride in my suffering...
alone, all alone with the emotional
streams of my soul...
So real, so pure... yet i'm left aside
entangled in fear... without hope.

I am truly left alone,
but somehow... just somehow
it feels like my loneliness is a victory
over the self-delusion of joy... and happiness.

My heart beats faster,
the anguish becomes clearer
and my misanthropic view gets stronger.
Living in the shadows...
so proud of being the one,
but desperate...
so desperate for a helping hand.
Do I really want to live this life?

I have a thousand reasons to die,
and many millions of tears to cry... in silence.
The human plague has emtied my life,
and I curse the day I was born... to this world!

Still, no-one else I ever want to be...
and no-one else I intend to be...
'cause no-one else I was meant to be!

I need, I want, I long for my retribution...
I need, I want, I yearn for my retribution...
I want my retribution... I want it now!

Unity; a gathering of open wounds,
of dark... of dark clean spirits...
what a dream... what a dream so distant!
Why should I... why should I be alone
when I love... when I love my brotherhood?
Shall I die... shall I die to be free
when I cry... when I cry in silence...
so please let me die in silence...
oh my god, let me die in silence!

LIVING IN A FAIRYTALE WORLD...

Have you ever dreamed of living in a forest filled with animals that spoke to you and trees that actually came alive?
Did you ever wish that you lived in a big castle with over one hundred rooms...secret staircases...treasure chests filled with jewels and knights with armor guarding every door?
Have you ever hoped that a wand would make all of your wishes come true?
Have you ever wished to be in a place where strangers become lovers with candies?
I live in a place like this...

loneliness..when does it end?

just a few lines to tell you how i feel
a few lines to show you i care
but what good will these few lines do...
if you were never there?
those words will just be written...
never noticed or read
all my feelings down on a paper
all thoughts that will fill my head whispered softly to myself
so no one else can hear
only i can see whats written
only i can feel my tears
shutting out the world around me
only i can hear my cries
writing my feelings down on a paper
my heart starts to die
but no one seems to know
i am trying to hold on
but i am slowly letting go